Bitter becomes Sweet

The Bitter becomes Sweet

Last week I attended crisis intervention training for chaplains of all kinds.  It is quite overwhelming to think that everyone at sometime in their life will face some kind of major crisis or trauma where their coping mechanisms are overwhelmed.  The work of a chaplain is to help a person through that period of crisis in their life to where they can cope.

A key message in the book of Ruth is that God can take a bitter experience and make it sweet.

The book of Ruth starts with a crisis.  Naomi's husband and two sons die in the foreign country of Moab.  Upon returning with one of her daughers-in-law Ruth after more than ten years the people of her home town recognize her and asks if this is "Naomi."  This is what she says in verses 20-21,

"Don't call me Naomi. Call me Mara," she answered, "for me the Almighty has made me very bitter.  I left full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.  Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has pronounced judgement on me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?

Obviously Naomi is in crisis and is overwhelmed.  The name "Naomi" means "pleasant", but she told them to change her name to "Mara" which means "bitter." Her identity changed from pleasant to bitter.  It is important to point out that it is ok to be bitter at these times in life.  It is also ok to be angry with God (as long as we are remember who it is we are talking with).  I think it is better to be open and honest about our feelings of anger with God than it is to pretend not to be.  It is important to let grief take its course as long as a person does not harm themselves or others.

A few things that make life bitter
Here are a few things that make life bitter that share common ground with Naomi.

1. Unexpected Tragedy.  In the face of unexpected or sudden tragedy it is obvious that life becomes very bitter and unpleasant.  Bitterness is a normal feeling to an abnormal situation. We need to realize that the tragedy will not last forever.  When a person faces such a situation they need to remember that it is important to take things one step at a time.  Recovering from a tragic will take some time as one moves moment by moment, day by day.  
2. Isolation.  When a person feels alone and disconnected this can bring on a feeling of bitterness. Every person needs a few people that they can be truly honest and open with.  Even though Naomi had Ruth, she displayed a type of isolation.  Fortunately for her Ruth did not take no for an answer. 
3. Hopelessness.  When a person feels that there is nothing to look forward to in life.  Naomi felt like there was no future except to just exist until she dies.   

How the bitter changes to better
Here are some points from Ruth and Naomi's story that I think we can consider in changing our bitter to better.

1. God is faithful and a very present help in time of need.  As Naomi returns to Israel she stated that God has made her bitter.  In fact she states that He was judging her.  This may have been true (I have reasons to believe that this is so that I will write in a separate post).  Implied in her statement is that God is in control of all things...this is TRUE.  It is worthless to console someone with the idea that God had nothing to do with a tragedy.  God is fully in control of His creation and allows us our free choices.  This story shows that God cares and was working things out for Naomi's good without her realizing it.  This same things ring true for us. Romans 8:28 says "we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God:  those who are called according to His purpose..."    We know in all situations that God is somehow working things out to the good of those who know and love Him.  Oftentimes we are not able to see it in the moment, we can be assured that God has not forgotten nor is inactive in our situation.
2. Close friends.  Naomi had a great friend in Ruth.  Everyone needs a friend that will help them through in those challenging times.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companions can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?  And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him.  A chord of three strands is not easily broken."  Naomi said that she came back empty-handed but she came back with Ruth which in the end everyone told was better to her than having "seven sons" (4:15).  Invest in friendships.  If want a friend we must be a friend.  
3. Hope.  Naomi's hope began to stir when she discovered the "coincidence" that Ruth was working in Boaz's field.  God had been at work to restore Naomi and Naomi is able to see an opportunity that the Lord gives.  Naomi's joy returns to her as her hope of future is restored.  "He (God) will renew your life and sustain you in your old age." (Ruth 4:15)  Every Christian has a promise of bright future, if not in this life definitely in the next.   

There are three things that will help to turn our bitterness better.  The first is the confidence that God is not against us but for us.  The second is that we need some close friends to help us through when we are weary.  The third aspect is a hope that the future will better than the past.  All Christian have something to look forward to.