The Paradox of Submitting

 Fulfilled in Christ: Submission, Service, and the Surprising Path to Satisfaction

Ephesians 5:22–6:9

In a world that equates fulfillment with autonomy, status, and self-expression, Scripture offers a radically different vision: one where submission is not a threat to joy, but a gateway to it. Ephesians 5:22–6:9 calls us to embrace our roles—not as burdens, but as sacred callings. Whether in marriage, family, or vocation, the path of humble obedience leads not to insignificance, but to exaltation in Christ.

Jesus Himself submitted to the Father’s will. That submission did not diminish His glory—it revealed it. Likewise, our fulfillment is not found in escaping subordination, but in embracing it as unto the Lord.

 

1. Submission to One Another (5:21)

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

This verse sets the tone: mutual submission within the church is not about domination, but devotion. It’s the posture of humility, where each member lays down rugged individualism to be united in mind and heart under Christ’s authority.

Mutual submission is essential for true teamwork. Like the Three Musketeers’ motto—“All for one and one for all”—each person yields for the good of the other and the strength of the whole. When someone insists, “It’s no one’s business,” they reject the accountability that submission requires. And where accountability is absent, intimacy falters. Without true intimacy, the presence of Christ in the community becomes faint—hard to see, hard to feel.

Submission doesn’t stifle us—it sanctifies us. It’s the soil where humility grows and Christ is glorified.

This applies not only to individual relationships but to the dynamic between church leaders and members. When leaders refuse to yield to the body, or when members resist the leadership God has placed over them, the result is always painful. We’ve seen what happens when bad churches happen to good pastors—and when bad pastors happen to good churches. It’s ugly, and God is not honored. The damage can nearly destroy what God desires to build in that community.

There must be a healthy and humble respect between leaders and members—a shared reverence for Christ that shapes how we speak, serve, and submit to one another.

2. Submission in Marriage (5:22–33)

“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.”

This passage calls wives to submit—not as inferiors, but as those who willingly embrace God’s design for ordered relationship. Subordination here reflects Christ’s own submission to the Father—not a loss of dignity, but a display of faith.  This is quite clear—as Christ is the authority over the church so the husband is the authority over his wife.

But the call to husbands is equally weighty. Paul doesn’t merely say that Christ gave Himself for the church—he shows that Christ invested in the church to present her without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless. His sacrifice had a goal: her sanctification.

Husbands

Likewise, husbands are not called to sacrifice for sacrifice’s sake, but to actively build up their wives. Her nurturing and development is a central part of his ministry. He is to undergird her weakness with love, so she can mature and become all that God created her to be. She is not a side note to his calling—she is part of the work he is to accomplish on this earth.

Many men may think their primary legacy lies in their professional career. But Scripture reframes that: his wife is his sacred investment. Later in the passage, Paul calls husbands to love their wives as they love their own bodies—providing, protecting, and cherishing her as part of themselves.  By investing in her sanctification…he invests in his own! He grows as she grows.

And so, this is not a sentimental love—it’s a sanctifying one. It’s a love that lifts, strengthens, and prepares her for glory. 

3. Submission in the Family (6:1–4)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

This command is not grounded in the perfection of parents, nor in cultural sentiment—it’s grounded in moral truth. Children are called to obey simply because it is right. Parental authority is the first authority a child encounters, and learning to honor it sets the foundation for respecting all other forms of authority throughout life.

This is one of the great works of parenting: training a child to do what is right because it is right. Tell the truth—because it is right. Share—because it is right. Honor your parents—because it is right. This moral reflex becomes the backbone of a well-formed conscience.

Parents, though imperfect, are God’s appointed first educators. The family is not a social construct—it is God’s system for raising up the next generation. When children reject parental authority and lose sight of moral rightness, society begins to unravel. Lawlessness doesn’t start in the streets—it starts in the home.

Paul also reminds children of the promise: “Honor your father and mother… that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Obedience isn’t just right—it’s wise. It leads to flourishing, stability, and long-term well-being.

Parents

Parents, in turn, are entrusted with a sacred responsibility. Paul speaks directly to fathers, but the principle applies to both parents:

“Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

This is a call to wisdom. Parents must not stir up resentment or frustration in their children. They are to lead with discernment—understanding what motivates and discourages their children, and working to help them do what is right without setting them up for failure.

Authority alone is not enough. Respect must be earned through presence, understanding, and consistency. Paul uses two key words: training and instruction.

• Training is experiential. Like pruning and feeding a plant to shape its growth, parents train by example—through what they model and what they expose their children to.
• Instruction is verbal. It’s coaching, conversation, and intentional teaching—especially about the Lord.

How many children grow up without a father who talks to them about God? This is the deepest goal of parenting: to help your child know God for themselves. To lead them to make God their authority—not just while they’re under your roof, but long after they’ve left it.

Parenting is not just about behavior—it’s about formation. And formation that leads to faith will stand the test of time.

 

4. Submission in Vocation (6:5–9)

Paul addresses slaves and masters with surprising dignity:

• Slaves are called to obey with sincerity, “as to Christ.” Their work becomes worship.
• Masters are reminded they too have a Master in heaven—this levels the field.

Paul doesn’t abolish slavery here, but he plants gospel seeds that subvert it. Even in unjust systems, Christ offers significance. Fulfillment is not found in circumstance, but in relationship with the Lord. Ephesians 6:5–8 reframes work: not as a ladder to climb, but as a place to serve Christ. What if your workplace is your altar?

 

Fulfillment ≠ Autonomy

Our culture insists that freedom, status, and self-determination are the keys to fulfillment. But Scripture offers a deeper paradox: that true satisfaction is not necessarily found in autonomy, but in surrender. To experience Christ—even in lowly, overlooked, or unjust circumstances—is to discover a joy that worldly success cannot replicate.

Career advancement may promise worth, but serving Christ brings meaning. Freedom may feel like happiness, but submission to God paradoxically births lasting joy. Wherever you find yourself today you can have true fulfillment. 

 

Closing

“Serve with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to people…” — Ephesians 6:7–8
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…” — Colossians 3:23

• Where might you be resisting submission because you’ve believed fulfillment lies elsewhere?
• Name one area—marriage, family, work—where you can reframe your role as a sacred calling.